Some days I feel like no matter how many things I accomplish for other people, how clean I keep the house, how much money I set aside and invest, how many smiles I give out to customers at the bank... it all amounts to no satisfaction. And then I realize... the rest of my life could be like this! I know, I'm being very vulnerable by saying that on a blog for everyone to read. So I'll tell you right now, that I already understand that this is spiritual/emotional battle, and that I mean to come out on top of it - with victory.
This last week has been just pretty "blah", and in hindsight I realize it's because I've been anxiously looking around for something big and exciting to happen. During a time of heart searching this evening, I came across a song that is called "Restless". I mockingly thought, "Oh great! Just such a perfectly fitting song for my life right now..." Well, yes, the song really has some good words about being "restless until I rest in You [God]" But, I really didn't want to hear those words, I wanted to ignore the root of my problem. So I skipped the song on my playlist and kept musing over my gloom.
Not long after that, I was talking with one of my friends who was asking for me to send her some pictures that we had taken together. I started working on the pictures and told her about the way I was feeling, just to see if she had any help. Ironically, in the course of our conversation, she brought up the exact song that I skipped earlier. She quoted the same line of the song that had run through my head maybe an hour earlier. Well, if that isn't an obvious answer from God, I don't know what is :)
She also mentioned something at the last of our conversation about loving our group of friends... And as I started editing these pictures I realized how thankful I am for everything I DO have. (With the #1 thing being such a great group of friends!) :) And not even half of them are in these pictures I'm sharing today. :)
So then - to answer the great question... "What if the rest of my life is a constant battle against restlessness!?"
Well, this evening I've realized that this time in my life is to condition me to be content in whatever state I find myself in.
I'm not saying that I won't ever battle this again, but I'll always know where the victory is; I can always run back to that place and be safe! :)
Oh, so serious...
Christy pointed her lazer into the camera lens, just to see what it would look like. Kinda creepy... ;P
I just love all my friends! :)
Maybe next time it won't take me a whole week to realize that I should start counting my blessings and just rest and wait ;)