06 November 2014

All I Can Do is Smile

I've never had someone do something for me and feel so much like God had a hand in it.
Today, we had a rough time closing up the bank, but we finally got out of there nearly an hour late. I had a cloud of dread hanging over my head because something was wrong that I had done that day and I didn't catch it until time to close. So all I could do is just hope that tomorrow, when management looks everything over, the issue will turn up and everything will be okay. But I know good and well that that might not. 
When I first realized there was a problem, naturally my thoughts turned straight to God and I started asking of Him that He would fix it and make everything right. But just as this song says, so many times we ask God to be with us in our times of distress, yet we haven't been close to him in all the other times. As I was crying out to God, I thought of this whole week and how I really haven't spent much time with the Lord because I've let homework and the cares of life take away from that special time with Him. So I was kind of like, "Well, I really don't feel like I have much room to ask for him to make everything to be just okay", though I know God can still do it if we truly have a repentant heart and if it is part of the lesson He wants to teach us. 
Needless to say, I was leaving work feeling gloomy, and it was really dark and cold outside to add to it. As I got to my car, I saw something was on the windshield of my car and I hollered back to my co-worker that someone had left me something. It was some flowers and candy from my cousin, and so I was like "How did she know I was having a rough night?!?" My co-worker and I just laughed at the irony of it and then parted ways. Of course, I knew that she had no way of knowing, but God did!
On my way home, I was thinking about it, and God just let me know that if He could orchestrate so that someone would think of me and send me a special gift on the same day that something went wrong, that he already knew all about the situation and it would be okay. And I can't even fathom what it means for God to know ALL about it -- that's a lot of "knowing"! ;) But it give me a calm assurance about the whole thing, that it would all be okay no matter how it turned out.
Then, as I pulled into the garage, and looked over to pick up the flowers and carry them in, I was just overwhelmed with the love of God. That He would really love me so much to give me flowers. Oh, it was such a wonderful thought! I know some people might argue though that it wasn't God -- it was just my cousin being nice to me. No, God works through the hands of his children. I'm also not trying to discount the kindness of my cousin, either. But it was just so strongly impressed on me that it was God who did it, he really cares and wants to have a relationship with me just as if He were my best friend here on this earth. 
Maybe I'll just leave it at that, because my mind can't even really take it all in right now. I'm overwhelmed with it all, because it is also a direct answer to the desire I've had in my heart to really know God like a friend, a really close friend.  :)